Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Writer's Mascot

I don't take rejection very well. Considering my high school experience, I like to think that I'm used to it. But, as with most human beings, I'm the emotional equivalent of a 'bleeder'. It may have a great deal to do with why I talked myself out of being a writer for so many years. It's one thing to stumble upon rejection as you navigate the quagmires of life. It's quite another to place yourself in situations where it's a statistically likely result.

Six months ago I got serious about the business, and subsequently heard the the same advice over and over: Grow a thick skin. As I already knew, even the greats have been rejected at one time or another. Rejection isn't (usually)personal in this business. I was instructed to glean what I could from criticism and insulate myself from the blows to self-worth. I decided that a proper representation of the dermal depth I was going for would be the noble Walrus.(There are worse mascots out there.) And so I would pray from time to time, "God, give me the skin of a Walrus."

I quickly realized that in order to juggle my primary responsibilities in life with the development of this far-fetched dream, I was going to need to be stronger. Strong enough to change diapers and wrangle kids all day, while utilizing every free moment to write. Being a nerd, I recalled that ants are the strongest creatures in proportion to their size; and certainly the most disciplined. I thought, why have just one mascot? I claimed the miniscule-yet-mighty ant as my patron insect. "God, give me the strength of an Ant."

Then, after months of grinding away at my book and walking painfully back through everything I'll need to represent, I discovered I was becoming exhausted. It's incredible how draining it can be to sit in front of a computer for hours on end. Well, maybe not so incredible when it feels more like slicing open a vein and bleeding my heart out into my keyboard.(In review, that was a pretty emo statement, but I'm going to leave in lieu of a better description.) Regardless, I realized that I needed a lot more endurance if I was to finally persevere to the completion of a project. A google search eventually revealed to me the creature credited with the most endurance. The Penguin. That's right, the fowl variant that I find the most humorous can in fact swim for days on end without the reprieve of coming on land. "God, give me the endurance of a Penguin."

It recently occurred to me that God has a warped sense of humor at times(in justifying that claim, I would direct your attention to the platypus), and so I've since specified that my request for these traits be left in metaphorical terms. However, I personally couldn't resist consolidating my chosen creatures into one. So without further adieu, I submit my mascot proposal on behalf of all aspiring writers and anyone feeling in need of the traits previously outlined.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you...

Skippy, the Wal-guin-ant.

And now you see why I'm a writer and not an artist.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Testing, 1-2-3

I've long been under the assumption that I needed another new project like a diabetic needs a twinkie. However, when enough credible voices keep pointing me in the same direction, even my mule-ish nature has to sit up and pay attention. And so, here I am. A generally non-social creature, learning to network. Now I just need some topics to discuss. Unfortunately, my long neglected livejournal is a testament to how gifted I am at coming up with those...